May 30: I went this morning for my first ultrasound since I've started the stim injections. Once again, the nurse has a hard time finding my ovary and getting an accurate follicle count. She actually didn't even tell me how many follicles she saw, but typed in the computer 5... I was all prepared with pen & paper in hand to write down measurements, but she said they are all still too small to be measured. This makes me a lil nervous since next week is supposed to be retrieval! I'm very scared, but trying to reassure myself that worrying won't do anything but hurt the process.
The nurses at the office called a few hours later to tell me my estradiol is at 45.5 which is low, but since my follicles are so small they wouldn't expect it to be much higher. I am instructed to keep menopur the same but increase my Follistim from 300IU to 375 for the next two days. Also, instead of going Saturday, they want to see me back Friday for more blood and another u/s. This time they are going to have a physician do my scan to make sure it's as accurate as it can be. I take some deep breathes and remind myself there is no problem; this is why they monitor me so closely, to make sure everything looks fabulous. I am very, very happy that they took the initiative to have a doc do my next scan. As a patient, it makes me feel really good that these medical workers are doing the best they can do to help us get a positive outcome. I'm sure they want good results as much as we do! After all, for the $$ we pay, and to keep their success rate high, they should. ;)
This evening I give J the doc report. He can tell I'm stressing, and between that and the hormones I can't help but bawl. I feel crazy, but he says "granny always said you'd feel better if you just let it out." He's such a great man. I am thankful for him & his mom raising him like she did. Since J will be responsible for giving me the HCG trigger shot in the bum, or money shot as I like to call it, I want him to practice. He is deathly afraid of needles and can barely watch me inject myself; hence why I want him to warm up a lil bit. I draw everything up, give him the overview again and lo & behold, he rocks it out! Didn't even flinch. What a rockstar!
With 5 days of injections under my belt, I'm feeling pretty good. I only have 2 bruises, which I think might be because they were higher on my belly than the other injection sites. I haven't gotten too cranky or overly emotional yet, and besides feeling a little more bloated than usual, I feel mostly normal.
31 May, 2012
30 May, 2012
4/20, a big day! And a summary to catch up to 5/28 :)
April 20 I took my first birth control pill. This means we are no longer TTC and are officially on the road to IVF. Woot woot! It is strange to be on BCP because it seems backwards from the goal... The contraceptive suppress your body's system and lets all the antral follicles get on the same "schedule." Antral follicles are what grow up to become the eggs that are ovulated each month. We start off with a fairly large number of follicles (say 4-12), and the one that responds the best to hormones is the one that matures and is ovulated, the rest die. In IVF, the goal is to mature and capture ALL the antral follicles.
Some people call them "test tube" or "Petrie dish" babies. The woman takes injections of hormones to grow eggs. The eggs are retrieved surgically and mixed with sperms in a Petrie dish. After 3-5 days of incubation, fertilized eggs, now embryos are put into the uterus. If you aren't familiar with IVF and want a rundown, here ya go.
April 24: I went in for my Antral follicle count ultrasound (u/s) and trial transfer. The nurse counted 9 little follicles! I am super ecstatic. Supposedly 6 or more gives you a pretty good success rate. The more you have, the more they can retrieve, fertilize, grow, and transfer back as little embryos. I was SO afraid I was going to have like... One. When she said 9, I just about cried tears of joy! The trial transfer was a little tricky and uncomfortable, but overall not too bad.
May 8: The day of truth. Our consent visit. J and I ask any last minute questions. We are described again in detail the process, then we sign away our lives and the future lives of our embryos. The great part about this visit: we got our calendar!! It tells us when to start stim injections, our tentative retrieval and transfer dates, and most important, the date of the HCG blood draw to tell if I'm pregnant or not. Holy crackers!!! IM SO EXCITED!
May 11: The shipment of drugs arrived. Wowza, I'm surprised at it all! Until I figure out how to get iPad pics on here, you're outta luck.. But in this case, the picture really does speak 1,000 words.... Or maybe 3,800 words. Hahaha. I am also pleasantly surprised to find out I don't have to do progesterone in oil injections, I get suppositories instead. This means I'm a pin cushion for only 2-3 weeks and not 12-13. Yippee!
May 21-23: We were in Virginia for the weekend and get stuck an extra two days. Two €€*%#&$ days at an "international" airport... UUURRRRGGGHHH I am beyond irritated. I cry in the airport; not because J is missing work or because I have no luggage, but because my suppression check is supposed to be Tuesday and I'm scared this shit is going to mess up my cycle. I also find out my nurse no longer works with SRM so now I don't know who to call. I end up rescheduling my suppression check twice and settle on Thursday morning. The head of nursing is managing my care now and reassures me that as long as everything looks o.k., we'll still be good start stims on Saturday. Hallelujah.
May 24: Suppression check. My uterine lining is measuring a perfect 4.1mm ( they like to see less than 5mm). The nurse practitioner doing the u/s has a hard time finding my ovary so calls in a doc to help her out. After a little digging and a extra hand to push it down, they count 7 antral follicles. While less than I was hoping for, I'm still happy with 7. After all, all it takes is 1! They also do a short pre-op questionnaire since I will be under anesthesia for egg retrieval. I get the official go ahead to start stims in 2 days. Before leaving, I write the biggest check I've ever written and leave feeling pretty good and in disbelief that it's starting!
May 26: Ready, set, inject!! I'm so nervous but excited the day is finally here! J isn't at home (he's CDO on the ship) so I was a little sad he missed this epic moment, but since he hates needles he wasn't exactly disappointed to miss the occasion. Lol. I was so nervous to do it and felt really silly. I re-read the info sheets for the thousandth time, and triple checked the meds and dosage. Guess that's the nurse in me :). If I were at work giving these drugs to someone else, it'd probably take me 5 minutes or less. I was so nervous to get it right, I managed to drag it out for 25. Sheesh. I have two injections, follistim and menopur. Follistim is easy and comes in a little pen device. Menopur I have to mix and unfortunately it burnsss! Nevertheless, we are one day closer, and I am freaking out! It's so weird to think in could be preg in 2 weeks!!~~!!
May 28: J and I had to drive all the way to Seattle to get my blood drawn this morning. My usual office in Tacoma is closed for the holiday. 3 hours in the car for less than 10 minutes at the office. I'm not complaining, it's worth it! I think J feels a little guilty having to watch me poke myself for these injections. He was feeling like absolute poo this morning but wanted to show his dedication to me and the process and came anyways. Poor kid was barfing the whole way there. Guess he really does love me and wants this as bad as I do ! :) :). The nurses called a few hours later to tell me everything looks good and to keep doing what I'm doing. Roger.
Some people call them "test tube" or "Petrie dish" babies. The woman takes injections of hormones to grow eggs. The eggs are retrieved surgically and mixed with sperms in a Petrie dish. After 3-5 days of incubation, fertilized eggs, now embryos are put into the uterus. If you aren't familiar with IVF and want a rundown, here ya go.
April 24: I went in for my Antral follicle count ultrasound (u/s) and trial transfer. The nurse counted 9 little follicles! I am super ecstatic. Supposedly 6 or more gives you a pretty good success rate. The more you have, the more they can retrieve, fertilize, grow, and transfer back as little embryos. I was SO afraid I was going to have like... One. When she said 9, I just about cried tears of joy! The trial transfer was a little tricky and uncomfortable, but overall not too bad.
May 8: The day of truth. Our consent visit. J and I ask any last minute questions. We are described again in detail the process, then we sign away our lives and the future lives of our embryos. The great part about this visit: we got our calendar!! It tells us when to start stim injections, our tentative retrieval and transfer dates, and most important, the date of the HCG blood draw to tell if I'm pregnant or not. Holy crackers!!! IM SO EXCITED!
May 11: The shipment of drugs arrived. Wowza, I'm surprised at it all! Until I figure out how to get iPad pics on here, you're outta luck.. But in this case, the picture really does speak 1,000 words.... Or maybe 3,800 words. Hahaha. I am also pleasantly surprised to find out I don't have to do progesterone in oil injections, I get suppositories instead. This means I'm a pin cushion for only 2-3 weeks and not 12-13. Yippee!
May 24: Suppression check. My uterine lining is measuring a perfect 4.1mm ( they like to see less than 5mm). The nurse practitioner doing the u/s has a hard time finding my ovary so calls in a doc to help her out. After a little digging and a extra hand to push it down, they count 7 antral follicles. While less than I was hoping for, I'm still happy with 7. After all, all it takes is 1! They also do a short pre-op questionnaire since I will be under anesthesia for egg retrieval. I get the official go ahead to start stims in 2 days. Before leaving, I write the biggest check I've ever written and leave feeling pretty good and in disbelief that it's starting!
May 26: Ready, set, inject!! I'm so nervous but excited the day is finally here! J isn't at home (he's CDO on the ship) so I was a little sad he missed this epic moment, but since he hates needles he wasn't exactly disappointed to miss the occasion. Lol. I was so nervous to do it and felt really silly. I re-read the info sheets for the thousandth time, and triple checked the meds and dosage. Guess that's the nurse in me :). If I were at work giving these drugs to someone else, it'd probably take me 5 minutes or less. I was so nervous to get it right, I managed to drag it out for 25. Sheesh. I have two injections, follistim and menopur. Follistim is easy and comes in a little pen device. Menopur I have to mix and unfortunately it burnsss! Nevertheless, we are one day closer, and I am freaking out! It's so weird to think in could be preg in 2 weeks!!~~!!
May 28: J and I had to drive all the way to Seattle to get my blood drawn this morning. My usual office in Tacoma is closed for the holiday. 3 hours in the car for less than 10 minutes at the office. I'm not complaining, it's worth it! I think J feels a little guilty having to watch me poke myself for these injections. He was feeling like absolute poo this morning but wanted to show his dedication to me and the process and came anyways. Poor kid was barfing the whole way there. Guess he really does love me and wants this as bad as I do ! :) :). The nurses called a few hours later to tell me everything looks good and to keep doing what I'm doing. Roger.
29 May, 2012
TTC History
September 2011 starts TTC (trying to conceive) cycle 1. I am temping, checking cervical fluid, tracking BD, and using pre-seed. We learn more than I or J ever thought possible about TTC and the human body. Lol. In October, I learn about ovulation predictor kits and start using those. November rolls around and I notice I think I have a luteal phase defect (LPD). I start taking 100mg of B6 to see if that will help. I schedule an appointment with an OB who works with basic infertility. He has J do a semen analysis and has me do a hysterosalpingogram(HSG). Miraculously, J's vasectomy is still working. He has a low count and borderline low motility, but the boys are still swimming! **For those who aren't familiar with vasectomy, apparently you are supposed to TTC within the first year of reversal because it can close off and stop working. We both must have had our ears closed during post-op education or they failed to mention, because this was a surprise when we learned the "rule" 3 years later. Great.** My HSG shows one tube cut off(duh, doc) but the other wide open. Also miraculous considering the possibility for scarring and scar tissue, etc after two surgeries and tacking the ovary in place. I put J on Fertilaid and Motilityboost to help his guys out. 3x a day of the smelliest pills imaginable. Yuck. I added a B complex to my regimen. At this point, we have an arsenal of drugs. I also invested in a Wedge pillow. (side note, if you don't have a wedge, GET ONE! You'll love it. Hehe). Since I still have an LPD but my tube is open, San Diego Dr prescribes me clomid to "give me bigger, stronger eggs."
Dec 29 is clomid round 1. A few days later, I realize I was fooled by my LPD & spotting and took the drug at the wrong time. Insert a few tears of frustration. January and February we try rounds 2&3. I'm also using OTC progesterone cream because I figure I can use all the help I can get. January, February, both a bust.
Here is a link to my Fertility Friend Chart in case you are curious how crazy TTCers get and you want to chart stalk me. I had pretty sweet temp shifts, btw.
Mid-February we move to Washington and I schedule an appointment with an OB up here because I want one local, and the one in SD was kind of a tard and very, very busy. My WA doc is a super nice man, very attentive. He spends a total of 30 minutes with me, but within the first 5 minutes tells me to check into IN Vitro Fertilization (IVF) stat. He tells me we are very lucky not only that I have eggs left, but that J's reversal is still working and we'd best get the show on the road while we still can. I still have 1 more dose of clomid, but he says it will do me no good, it will not give me bigger, stronger eggs or fix my LPD. Le sigh.
WA doc referred me to Seattle Reproductive Medicine and J and I met with our reproductive endocrinologist (RE) 2 weeks later. She reviewed our histories and agreed, clomid wouldn't do anything for us, intra-uterine insemination wasn't worth it, so IVF is the way to go. We go home and process all the info. It is a huge workup and very expensive, but worth it, we decide. Yes, the military does do IVF and ironically up here, they work with SRM. The problem with the military treatment facility lies in their waiting list, cost (no, it's not free), and success rate.
In Feb and March, we do all the prescreen tests, ultrasounds, blood work, genetic testing, etc etc and have 1 month until my next cycle when we can do an antral follicle count and uterine sounding (aka, trial transfer). During March, I take a break from all things TTC.... Ok scratch that. I still wear my bracelet made of quartz, red carnelian, and moonstone with the turtle and elephant charms for good luck and to center my chakra; and still sleep with the packet of baby dust under my pillow. I wish I was kidding, I really did all that. So March is our last month of TTC before IVF officially starts. J and I take a trip to San Diego and Maui in hopes of conceiving a babymoon baby. We do it porn style, every day, even in the park for good baby vibes, hoping that this month will be our lucky month. Like the rest, it's a bust! But at least we can say we gave it our best shot :) A-game was def brought!
I'm disappointed we haven't been able to conceive on our own... Even feeling a little less womanly since my girl-parts have let me down, but I am comforted with the fact that with science on our side, we will achieve our goal!
Dec 29 is clomid round 1. A few days later, I realize I was fooled by my LPD & spotting and took the drug at the wrong time. Insert a few tears of frustration. January and February we try rounds 2&3. I'm also using OTC progesterone cream because I figure I can use all the help I can get. January, February, both a bust.
Here is a link to my Fertility Friend Chart in case you are curious how crazy TTCers get and you want to chart stalk me. I had pretty sweet temp shifts, btw.
Mid-February we move to Washington and I schedule an appointment with an OB up here because I want one local, and the one in SD was kind of a tard and very, very busy. My WA doc is a super nice man, very attentive. He spends a total of 30 minutes with me, but within the first 5 minutes tells me to check into IN Vitro Fertilization (IVF) stat. He tells me we are very lucky not only that I have eggs left, but that J's reversal is still working and we'd best get the show on the road while we still can. I still have 1 more dose of clomid, but he says it will do me no good, it will not give me bigger, stronger eggs or fix my LPD. Le sigh.
WA doc referred me to Seattle Reproductive Medicine and J and I met with our reproductive endocrinologist (RE) 2 weeks later. She reviewed our histories and agreed, clomid wouldn't do anything for us, intra-uterine insemination wasn't worth it, so IVF is the way to go. We go home and process all the info. It is a huge workup and very expensive, but worth it, we decide. Yes, the military does do IVF and ironically up here, they work with SRM. The problem with the military treatment facility lies in their waiting list, cost (no, it's not free), and success rate.
In Feb and March, we do all the prescreen tests, ultrasounds, blood work, genetic testing, etc etc and have 1 month until my next cycle when we can do an antral follicle count and uterine sounding (aka, trial transfer). During March, I take a break from all things TTC.... Ok scratch that. I still wear my bracelet made of quartz, red carnelian, and moonstone with the turtle and elephant charms for good luck and to center my chakra; and still sleep with the packet of baby dust under my pillow. I wish I was kidding, I really did all that. So March is our last month of TTC before IVF officially starts. J and I take a trip to San Diego and Maui in hopes of conceiving a babymoon baby. We do it porn style, every day, even in the park for good baby vibes, hoping that this month will be our lucky month. Like the rest, it's a bust! But at least we can say we gave it our best shot :) A-game was def brought!
I'm disappointed we haven't been able to conceive on our own... Even feeling a little less womanly since my girl-parts have let me down, but I am comforted with the fact that with science on our side, we will achieve our goal!
Our Background
To cover for time until up until now and have our story make sense, I figured I should start from the very beginning.
Once upon a time, in a land far, far, away... Ok, in Wisconsin... There was a young girl. This girl complained of tummy aches but was sent home from the ER with no relief. A few days later, back in the hospital, the doctors thought she had appendicitis which would require emergency surgery. The girl was upset to miss school and soccer games, but was hurting badly and wanted it fixed. Off to the OR she went with her family in tears. When she woke up, they learned it was not the appendix which was causing pain, but a large ovarian cyst. This cyst caused a torsion and what the surgeons found instead of a normal, almond-sized ovary was one the size of a grapefruit. Ouch, no wonder I hurt so bad! It was horribly damaged and had to be removed. Since this girl was so young, she had to see many specialists over the next weeks and months. The pediatric endocrinologist was worried about new cysts forming so a second surgery a few months later removed 2/3 of the left ovary. This 10 yr old girl was now facing a life of uncertain fertility and very early menopause r/t these surgeries which left her with 17% of the egg supply of a normal woman. To protect herself from disappointment, she grew up always thinking a family of her own might not be an option.
This girl led a wonderful life with a great family and blossomed into a beautiful, educated, very successful, and independent young lady.
In another time and place, there was a boy. This boy got married very young and decided to serve his country by joining the Navy. During his first 2 deployments as a young enlisted sailor, his family grew from 2 to 4. Unfortunately, Navy life is hard and not all can handle the pressures, so this boy and girl decided life was better for them not married any longer. It was hard for the boy to leave his family, but he spent the next 10 years doing 7 deployments, earning his bachelors and masters degrees, and working very hard to be promoted in the Navy to an officer. His life was hard and he missed his sons very much. His heart broke, and not wanting to experience such awful heartbreak again, he decided a vasectomy was a good option for him.
As fate would have it, this boy and girl met. Their love story is a thing of beauty, but I'll spare you the details for now :) In our hearts, we know we were always meant to be. When DH (J) and I met, he was fixing to deploy and not looking for a serious relationship. I had just moved to a new part of the country and was looking forward to experiencing life unattached. Low and behold, 6 months fly by and we are inseparable. I survive my first deployment and get to see my sailor return on the USS Bataan. The next 6 months passes and we decide that marriage is in our future. We share our histories and get married knowing a family is uncertain but undecided. 10 days after our wedding, we survive our 2nd deployment... An individual augmentee assignment to work with the Army in Iraq. J had a very safe job, but everyday was stressful... They don't make soldiers carry guns on their hips for no reason! J's return is like something off of a tv show. I am at dinner with a group of friends and to my surprise, J showed up, a day early, straight from the airport still in his uniform smelling like the desert. They say "absence makes the heart grow fonder.". Though the time apart is horrid, I think it helps us cherish each other every day and never take anything for granted.
Our first three years as newlyweds is absolutely blissful. We love to travel, we love working to make our backyard beautiful, it pretty much makes everyone gag to see how happy we are :) :) :) We are huge fans of always having options so in 2009, 9 years after his original snip, we let the Navy perform a vasectomy reversal.... Ya know, just in case!
Our relationship continues to grow, and we decide that we want to share our great love ... Unfortunately, the dog just wasn't cutting it! (though we love you and miss you dearly, Sconnie!) Between moving across country and surviving our 3rd deployment and 2homeport shifts, we decide the next year (2011) is a great time to start the road to adding number 3. Knowing it will probably be a difficult road, I spend the duration of J's deployment gearing up. Reading, reading, researching, reading, and finding out all the secrets there is to know about TTC. And trust me, there are a lot of secrets! I do the basics... Get off BC (which I had been on since surgery #2... a total of 15 years), exercise regularly, take a vitamin, eat veggies, track my cycles, no caffeine. Check, check, check! J comes home and we are living in beautiful San Diego. Heaven, I tell you. I join the community at baby zone.com where I ask soooo many questions and learn a lot from some of the most supportive girls! I never thought I'd be an Internet junkie, but there are just some things you can't ask your mom or BFF or Facebook....
Once upon a time, in a land far, far, away... Ok, in Wisconsin... There was a young girl. This girl complained of tummy aches but was sent home from the ER with no relief. A few days later, back in the hospital, the doctors thought she had appendicitis which would require emergency surgery. The girl was upset to miss school and soccer games, but was hurting badly and wanted it fixed. Off to the OR she went with her family in tears. When she woke up, they learned it was not the appendix which was causing pain, but a large ovarian cyst. This cyst caused a torsion and what the surgeons found instead of a normal, almond-sized ovary was one the size of a grapefruit. Ouch, no wonder I hurt so bad! It was horribly damaged and had to be removed. Since this girl was so young, she had to see many specialists over the next weeks and months. The pediatric endocrinologist was worried about new cysts forming so a second surgery a few months later removed 2/3 of the left ovary. This 10 yr old girl was now facing a life of uncertain fertility and very early menopause r/t these surgeries which left her with 17% of the egg supply of a normal woman. To protect herself from disappointment, she grew up always thinking a family of her own might not be an option.
This girl led a wonderful life with a great family and blossomed into a beautiful, educated, very successful, and independent young lady.
In another time and place, there was a boy. This boy got married very young and decided to serve his country by joining the Navy. During his first 2 deployments as a young enlisted sailor, his family grew from 2 to 4. Unfortunately, Navy life is hard and not all can handle the pressures, so this boy and girl decided life was better for them not married any longer. It was hard for the boy to leave his family, but he spent the next 10 years doing 7 deployments, earning his bachelors and masters degrees, and working very hard to be promoted in the Navy to an officer. His life was hard and he missed his sons very much. His heart broke, and not wanting to experience such awful heartbreak again, he decided a vasectomy was a good option for him.
As fate would have it, this boy and girl met. Their love story is a thing of beauty, but I'll spare you the details for now :) In our hearts, we know we were always meant to be. When DH (J) and I met, he was fixing to deploy and not looking for a serious relationship. I had just moved to a new part of the country and was looking forward to experiencing life unattached. Low and behold, 6 months fly by and we are inseparable. I survive my first deployment and get to see my sailor return on the USS Bataan. The next 6 months passes and we decide that marriage is in our future. We share our histories and get married knowing a family is uncertain but undecided. 10 days after our wedding, we survive our 2nd deployment... An individual augmentee assignment to work with the Army in Iraq. J had a very safe job, but everyday was stressful... They don't make soldiers carry guns on their hips for no reason! J's return is like something off of a tv show. I am at dinner with a group of friends and to my surprise, J showed up, a day early, straight from the airport still in his uniform smelling like the desert. They say "absence makes the heart grow fonder.". Though the time apart is horrid, I think it helps us cherish each other every day and never take anything for granted.
Our first three years as newlyweds is absolutely blissful. We love to travel, we love working to make our backyard beautiful, it pretty much makes everyone gag to see how happy we are :) :) :) We are huge fans of always having options so in 2009, 9 years after his original snip, we let the Navy perform a vasectomy reversal.... Ya know, just in case!
Our relationship continues to grow, and we decide that we want to share our great love ... Unfortunately, the dog just wasn't cutting it! (though we love you and miss you dearly, Sconnie!) Between moving across country and surviving our 3rd deployment and 2homeport shifts, we decide the next year (2011) is a great time to start the road to adding number 3. Knowing it will probably be a difficult road, I spend the duration of J's deployment gearing up. Reading, reading, researching, reading, and finding out all the secrets there is to know about TTC. And trust me, there are a lot of secrets! I do the basics... Get off BC (which I had been on since surgery #2... a total of 15 years), exercise regularly, take a vitamin, eat veggies, track my cycles, no caffeine. Check, check, check! J comes home and we are living in beautiful San Diego. Heaven, I tell you. I join the community at baby zone.com where I ask soooo many questions and learn a lot from some of the most supportive girls! I never thought I'd be an Internet junkie, but there are just some things you can't ask your mom or BFF or Facebook....
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