EPIC FAIL
We got the phone call of doom. Big, fat, HCG negative.
I could tell as soon as " hi M, this is Heather, can you hear me alright?" was said. Worst car ride ever. We stopped at the grocery on the way home and picked up some recovery essentials: 3 Musketeers, ice cream bars, beers, and vanilla vodka. I almost bought cigarettes, too. I figured I might as well be as fetally unfriendly as I could be for one day! I hate to admit this, but we burned the photo of the embryo. I couldn't stand to see it on the fridge, staring at me, wondering what the heck went wrong.
BTW, AF should have come yesterday. For the first time ever, I'm late. The bitch of it is I know I ain't preggy! Our consolation prize for a failed cycle is my PERIOD! What a cruel joke.
I'm glad (as I'm sure so is J) that I can finally morph from evil bitch monster back to me. I'm glad we just frkn know. Not knowing was the worst! I'm super sad because I was really looking forward to making J's life a living hell for the next 9 months. Instead I get to eat sushi, drink beers, take excedrin for my headaches, and not eat my veggies. Sounds like fun, except Im not looking forward to it. I get to move back to Cali... Except that is a pretty shitty second place prize. I wanted first prize, dammit!
I know what you're thinking... The answer is yes, we can still try "old skool." We have our WTF (why the fail) appointment tomorrow. I'm hoping Dr K has some real good advice on what we can do to maximize our chances au natural. It's probably not a whole lot and it would be pretty amazing to get lucky, I'm just not sure I want to go back to twice a day vitamins, temping, charting, and stressing every month. Maybe I can be like a NORMAL person and take it Nike style and be surprised one day as I'm drinking my wine and wondering when the hell my last period was. Sounds pretty luxurious.
Real luxurious.
Just for shits n giggles, I made J POAS last night. I was hoping to share the pressure we women feel while POAS, plus I had more than a few extra tests. Pfffft. He's not with child, either! Dang.
